Often times (ok, most of the time), we look at our bodies as the enemy, the problem. If we could just get the body to be the shape and size we want, then we’ll be happy. We look at the body as the obstacle to living life to the fullest, when really, we wouldn’t even be here without our body. We look at ourselves as a body first, with someone living inside of it second, instead of looking at ourselves as people, humans or even souls FIRST and our bodies as being second.
I believe that the body is the window into the soul. Eating disorders are a screaming, in-your-face expression of inner turmoil which the SOUL is enduring, which the person is enduring. This may get a little too spiritual or ‘kooky’ for some of you, but I believe that the body alerts us of not just physical problems, but more importantly, alerts us of psychological distress, including stress and anxiety. When we’re stressed, we get sick. When we hold onto anger, cancer can manifest. Going back to first year university physics, energy cannot be destroyed- it is simply converted from one form into another. If you are feeling negative energy within you, you cannot destroy it, although you can rid yourself of it’s uncomfortable feelings by discussing your concerns and hence converting it into another form of energy, such as patience, for an example.
I am writing this post as I feel as though I am coming down with the flu- yet again. I have been experiencing many uncomfortable, physical sensations over the past few days. This can be especially hard for someone who is hyper-sensitive and acutely aware of every bodily nuance and feeling. It appears that there must be some sort of stress or anxiety bubbling under the surface which I am not completely aware of. I know this is true as the last semester of my undergraduate program began today. I am living away from home. I am away from my parents and sister. All new things. Changes. Good changes, may I add, but changes that shift my equilibrium, nonetheless. This can be a hard situation when we are presented with clear warning signs from our body that something is off, yet we are not completely aware of our thoughts. Often times my thoughts tend to spin around in my head, playing and re-playing without my full consent, if that makes any sense. Clearly, I am making the choice to think negative or anxiety-provoking thoughts, yet if I am not cognizant of what I am telling myself, it can be hard to acknowledge the source of my physical manifestations. I guess I just need to think very logically- “School is starting, you are away from home, and thus any stomach issues or flu-y feelings you have are likely the result of stress/adjusting to my ‘new life.'” End of discussion. Deep breath. Assure myself that everything will be ok, and move forward, grabbing this semester by the horns (so to speak, lol, so cheesy- sorry) and doing the best I can academically.
Life doesn’t have to be stressful. It doesn’t need to be full of concerns or problems or stressors. It can be as hard or as easy as you make it. Perspective is everything. A positive perspective= a happier person. Life can be FUN. It doesn’t have to be all work and schedules and rules. A regimented life isn’t a life worth living. I much prefer a go-with-the-flow, laughing till your stomach hurts, free spirit kind of life, no matter how ‘impossible’ that seems. I can picture all the type A’s out there covering their eyes and ears and shaking their head. But it is possible- I am a definite ‘type A,’ perfectionist, and although these characteristics feel ingrained within me, it is always my choice to live my life the way I want. If the way I am interpreting my world now doesn’t sit right with me, or leaves me with regrets, I know that I must make some changes. Don’t waste another second living a ‘perfect,’ boring life. Let your hair down, blast the music and dance like nobody’s watching. Take that soul of yours, encompassed within that awesome body and go out and LIVE. Your body may just reward you with a clean bill of health.
Much love and health,
Lauren xo
The Homeostatic Mindset 
What a thought provoking post. Wow. Talk about hitting the nail on the head though. I never thought about ED in terms of physics before, but you’re right — it’s all about what we choose to do with those negative thoughts and stresses. I know that for myself, I hold them in, and they break me down, slowly at first, but with increasingly destructive speed, until I’m nothing more than a relapsed sobbing bundle-of-nerves on rock-bottom. I would like to think that now I have the tools to be able to release the negative thoughts and cope with the stressors that threaten me, but I’m still petrified that I’ll fall back into the cycle. That’s why recovery is a life-long journey. One that I’m more than willing to lace up my shoes and undertake — and that’s exactly why I’ll succeed. Because I’m willing to try.
Hey Chelsie! I included my response to this comment in my email back to you 🙂