How to make recovery easier: A guide

25 Oct

Recovery is daunting. It’s honestly terrifying. It’s like you’re standing at the opening of a massive, dark cave which seems like it has the potential to swallow you up any second. You’re trembling as you begin to take your first steps forward and you feel like there is no way you can ever make it out the other side alive.

Well folks, I’m here to tell you that you CAN. No matter where you are coming from, how deep you’ve dug yourself down- recovery IS possible. Even if you think that you’re ‘worse than everyone else,’ you’re ‘not strong enough to recover,’ or you’re ‘too far gone/too crazy.’ I’m here to tell you that you are wrong. That’s right, I said it. YOU, Miss Perfectionist, are wrong. WRONG-O. And isn’t that just AWESOME!? To be wrong about something like this? Thinking that you can’t recover when you in fact can? BOOM. Imma callin’ you out.

Alright, so now what? Well… Let’s make ourselves a little list. A recovery guide, if you will.

*Disclaimer: These are simply a few of the MANY things which aided in MY OWN recovery. This list is not a supplement for professional help. If you’re currently struggling with an eating disorder, please contact a medical doctor, psychotherapist and/or registered dietician to aid you in your own recovery.* 

1) Stop reading food/fitness blogs. *Gasp.* That’s right, I said it. I turned against my people. But I feel it’s necessary in the beginning stages of recovery. You don’t need to spend all day looking at food, reading about someone else’s work-out regime, critiquing their choices, their bodies, their exercise. THEM…Not you. We don’t need to get confused, or fall into the comparison trap. Focus on YOU.

2) Get off all Pinterest food boards, exercise/health/fitness boards. And for the LOVE OF GOD- Get off thinspo and other promotional sites. I don’t need to tell you why. You KNOW why…

3) Find your person. This is the person that can inspire you to recover. Your person can be YOU. You can choose to recover for yourself, your future, your goals, your passions. However, for many, the beginning stages of recovery are very dark and we often need inspiration or motivation to recover for someone else. If this is the case for you, do it for your parents, your sister/brother, your Mother who passed away years ago, your Grandpa, a teacher, anyone. Just pick someone, and hold onto their mental image for dear life. They are literally saving you when you aren’t yet able to save yourself.

4) Write a Life Bucket List. What do you want to do with your life? You want to be a lawyer, buy a farm, start your own company? Awesome! You want to go skinny dipping in the ocean, sky diving, fall in love, have kids? YES! This is the fire we need! Write down all the reasons as to why you want to live. There are plenty, trust me.

5) Compile a list of your favourite quotes/inspirational sayings/affirmations, write them in coloured marker on pieces of white paper and paste them up on your walls. Found on my walls in the beginning were, “I nourish my body with nutrients AND pleasure.” Or, “A nourished body equals a strong mind.” And, “Food is a constant positive in my life.” (I still use that last affirmation to this day!).

6) Quit it with the healthy, satiety-inducing foods. People with ED’s are mastermind’s at knowing which foods will stifle hunger for the least amount of calories/fat/carbs yadda, yadda, yadda without leading to a significant feeling of full-ness. If you are in the very beginning stages of recovery, drinking protein shakes and eating plain greek yogurt, broccoli, egg whites and lettuce, is going to make it hard. You’re trying to REV UP your appetite- not diminish it. This is especially important for breakfast. You know how all the studies say  that “eating eggs for breakfast can reduce your appetite for the rest of the day causing you to eat less?” Well? Do I need to spell it out? DON’T EAT EGGS FOR BREAKFAST. Actually, let me re-phrase that. Do not eat foods which you personally find extremely satiating.  You want to regain your appetite, not diminish it. It’s already non-existent enough.  You want to ensure you get a tickle of hunger every few hours, just to make eating easier. I found for me, the only way to do that was through one of the scariest foods- cereal. It was literally my go to in the beginning of recovery. When I would eat it for breakfast, it would elicit some sort of hunger response a few hours later, unlike protein oats or egg whites would. And so I would be more inspired to then eat lunch. And so on. Positive feedback cycle, yo.

7) TALK. I cannot stress this enough. EVERY.SINGLE.THING. that I ever endured in my life was broken apart and analyzed, whether it seemed significant or not. Bare your soul. Do not hold anything back. If you were to die tomorrow, you want to know that there would be at least one person/therapist out there who would know all of your secrets. When you keep what may appear as ‘little things’ bottled up, they eat away at you. They hinder your recovery. They can even PREVENT your recovery. Now, I’m not going to lie. This is BRUTAL. I’m talking, “I’m-think-I’m-going-to-vomit-if these-words-actually-come-out-of -my-mouth” tough. But when they do? Awwwhhhhhhhhh…the relief. Ohhh, the sweet, sweet relief. PURE JOY.

8) Connect with nature and animals. Animals are HUGE. I truly believe they are nature’s healers. Just looking at a picture of a puppy makes you feel all warm and fuzzy. There is actually an in-patient treatment center in Arizona, which I contemplated attending, which assigns you to your own horse throughout your treatment process. You care for your horse, ride it, and in the process it teaches you more about life than you could have ever imagined. So go outside and pet your neighbours dog. Heck, hold a stuffed animal dog while you eat your meals. Go sit in the grass. Hug a tree. Literally, re-grow your own roots. Become part of this universe again and get out of your own head.

9) Stop exercising. Nope, I don’t want to hear it. Just stop.

NO.

Mm-mm.

Seriously. STOP.

10) If it feels right (and only if it truly does), change something about your appearance, such as your hair. For me, dying my hair dark brown within the first month of my recovery  felt like a re-birth. The change I so desperately wanted to occur on the inside was manifesting it self on the outside. I was the ‘new me.’ I was going to become the healthy Lauren. And it was exciting.

11) If you’re attempting to recover on your own without outside medical help from either an inpatient or outpatient program, you need to have tremendous family support. And I mean TREMENDOUS. You also need to be able to come up with your own meal plan, or at least some kind of list of meal and snack options that you will stick to. And actually follow it.

12) Have a bedtime snack. You need it. Your metabolism can speed up throughout the night. Your blood sugar  can plummet. Your hormones can go all wonky. This explains why so many who struggle from anorexia have such trouble sleeping. They wake up in the night nauseous, anxious and agitated. Having a snack before bed will relax your body (maybe not your mind, but your BODY, meaning your actual physiology) and it will help to keep your appetite going so that when you wake up in the morning, you will be hungry for breakfast.

13) Laugh. Sounds so simple, I know. But seriously, find things that make you laugh. These can be movies, websites, people, anything! Just laugh. And smile :) Laughter is so cathartic.

14) HUG those you love! The power of touch is severely underestimated. And I am by no means referring to this from a sexual perspective. I’m talking just a basic hug from your sister. A big bear hug from your Dad. That feeling that you get when you hug your Mom and you just let yourself sink into her. You are safe. The oxytocin is being released. You will feel calmer and stronger.

15) Give yourself time. This is a long journey. It takes time. Every day is an adventure. Respect your fears, but don’t let them leave you stagnant. You’re too strong not to move forward. Once you’ve built your recovery foundation, take baby steps forward to push yourself outside of your comfort zone. Add a tablespoon more of food to one meal. Then to two meals. Add in another snack. Stop drinking so much water to fill you up. Start fueling yourself with food instead. You’ll feel a bajillion times better.

Now, this is by no means is an extensive list and I urge anyone struggling to seek help from professionals (even if that means just seeing a therapist, as opposed to entering an in-pateint program).  But you need to start somewhere. Sometime. What’s wrong with today? When have you had enough? You can do it, I know you can. You will make it out the other side of the dark cave. And let me tell you…There is a fabulous world out there just waiting to see you and ALL that you have to offer :)

Much love and health,

Lauren xo

14 Responses to “How to make recovery easier: A guide”

  1. Chelsie @ Balance, Not Scale October 25, 2012 at 11:29 pm #

    Yes. This induced tears. Thank you. For being my newly found person. For understanding me. For being there just to listen. And for all the words of wisdom, encouragement, and abundant use of x’s and o’s and exclamation points.
    I needed this tonight more than ever.
    I’m going to grab a snack and curl up in bed with round 2 of “Something Borrowed”. Email coming to you soon. Sending love and infinite thank youuuuuus!! xo

    • Lauren October 25, 2012 at 11:53 pm #

      Sorry you’re having a tough night :( Wish I was there to watch Something Borrowed with you!!!! I love that movie :) Sending you strength and love! xoxo

  2. Cori October 26, 2012 at 1:49 am #

    Beautiful, perfect, EXACTLY what I needed to hear. I agree completely with Chelsie. Thanks for this Lauren!

    • thehomeostaticmindset October 26, 2012 at 1:55 am #

      I actually wrote this post for you, Cori :) I’m so glad that it was helpful. I will email you tomorrow <3

  3. leanarellim October 26, 2012 at 5:51 am #

    You are a blessing. This post fell onto my eyes and into my soul at the right time. Going to read it again in the morning to fuel my spirit :) I get so much inspiration from you and Chelsie. Thank you so much!

    • thehomeostaticmindset October 26, 2012 at 4:19 pm #

      Thanks so much, love! So glad that this post was able to inspire you :) I wish you the very best in your recovery <3

  4. letsgetupandlive October 26, 2012 at 9:41 am #

    It feels good to hear somebody else say these things out loud. Especially regarding the first point – though it’s a tough one for me: Too many bloggers promote an image of “healthy” that I find too extreme and rigid.

    Inspirational quotes are a great idea and your list make me miss my mum – her being my person – even more. I really have to visit my parents again soon!

    Thanks for this great inspirational list, Lauren!

    • thehomeostaticmindset October 26, 2012 at 4:15 pm #

      So glad my list resonated with you! And yes, Mom’s are pretty magnificent. Hope you get to see your’s very soon :)

  5. Caroline October 26, 2012 at 1:14 pm #

    This is a great list. I’ve never had an eating disorder but I have noticed the affect some healthy living blogs and Pinterest have on my psyche. At one point, I had to stop reading them entirely because I kept comparing myself and feeling like I wasn’t good enough. I find when I’m doing things I love that have nothing to do with food, exercise, weight, etc. (such as photography and scrapbooking) that I start to forget about those things and let go a bit.

    • thehomeostaticmindset October 26, 2012 at 4:18 pm #

      You’re completely right- some blogs can make us feel badly about ourselves, regardless of whether or not we have an eating disorder/history of one. So glad that you’ve realized this and that you make a conscious decision to participate in activities which lift you up! :) When we focus on things we’re passionate about, we realize what really matters in life. xo

  6. Mom October 27, 2012 at 1:59 am #

    Well my Darling, this post made me cry. I am so very proud of you. You are an incredible inspiration to so many including me. Your strength, love of life, love of self is a breath of fresh air. You are a gift to all you touch. Recovery allows you to live your life in a way you might never have found out if you had not discovered your truth, yourself. Always remember, it doesn’t matter what others think of you, they don’t define you, you do.

    I said to myself
    Come sit here beside me
    And although it may not make sense
    I held my own hand as a small sign of trust
    And together I sat on the fence 

    Your Mom, who loves you with all her heart oxoxo

    • thehomeostaticmindset October 27, 2012 at 12:37 pm #

      Awwwwww, now this made me cry! Such beautiful words, thank you <3 Love you Mommy :) xoxoxoxoxoxo

  7. Sarah October 29, 2012 at 11:08 pm #

    I love this. Thank you for taking the time to write up this post girl, truly amazing guide and words of wisdom. Recovery from an ED is the most challenging thing I’ve done in my life to date, and will probably out rank everything for the rest of my life. I am by no mean recovered but I’m in the process. It is finding blogs such as yours and reading posts such as this that truly inspire me to keep fighting, keep focused, and no matter what keep going and never give in. #9 agreed. After YEARS of national competition and then racing I knew nothing other than competition, having now stopped working out had made a tremendous impact. Positive impact that is. #11 this is key, support from family, friends, that “one person”, and if it can happen medical team! Team work get’s it done, that support is such phenomenal help. #12 ditto. #15 such an important and VERY OFTEN overlooked concept. When I say overlooked I mean I don’t think anybody thinks it will really take as long as it does, but it makes us stronger. :)

    • thehomeostaticmindset October 29, 2012 at 11:46 pm #

      Thank you so much for your sweet comment! You’re completely right about it being the most challenging thing we will ever go through- I totally agree! I always told my self in the beginning of recovery that if I can get through this, there isn’t anything I can’t do! I’m so glad that my list resonated with you :) And you’re right- people really don’t understand the depths or complexities of eating disorders and how long they truly take to recover from. It IS so worth it though!!!! Off to check out your blog ;)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 38 other followers

%d bloggers like this: